Diary of a Gay Dad. I am a full time dad to five young children.

It’s not yet lunchtime, but we’ve had our ups and one or two downs as well. Pretty standard stuff I guess. Amritsar has been in quite the ‘mood’ but did cheer up when I helped both Tara and herself stitch together their alien hand puppets brought home from school as a weekend project. I taught them ‘blanket stitch’ and probably did a little too much sewing on their  behalf. Now with regards lunch, with an abundance of puttanesca in the freezer, guess what we are having with the spaghetti? Better get it on to boil in a moment, though I just had a thought! Toddler pics of spaghetti lunches, please note today’s pictures! Yes things are certainly looking up… Weekends are a little less chaotic nowadays, which is well deserved as parents I hope. They used to stress me out, but with the terrible twos well behind us and the troublesome threes dissipating, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Okay, I’m not a restaurant or food critic, though I am a bit of a foodie if truth be known. It’s funny isn’t it! When you are a couple together for a number of years, so often you end up ordering the same dishes. Not through blind laziness, ‘I’ll have the same as him’, rather your pallets are just so in tune. We both ordered the same for all three courses. You have to smile. It has in fact been two years since our last visit to the Michelin stared Vineyard. My birthday two years ago lead to a major disappointment there when the chef had chosen to substitute a dish serving a very ‘blue’ filet of lamb with saddle! Yes the toughness of ‘rump’ really does not lend itself to being served almost raw. I did make a complaint and in fairness they did comp my main course, but it was untouched, excusing the three mouthfuls of meat. But leaving in haste as we did, the bill still came to two hundred pounds as there was zero understanding of just how the celebratory meal was a complete wash out. I had but eaten a rather wispy smoked salmon starter and a few mouthfuls of inedible meat, obviously Johns enjoyment of the celebration had been marred, so we just decided to not return. Though here we are, almost two years later and we returned and had a very pleasant meal, though portion wise, a little meagre. The carbs were non existent, that is if one did not include the two portions of very tasty home made bread rolls that were served. A final bill of two hundred and forty pounds made us consider things. And to be honest, the atmosphere was not sufficient to compel us to rush back. Service (front of house) was very good, but sadly the menu was lacking in That ‘something dynamic’ you would expect with a restaurant prizing itself on its level of quality.

P.s. On the greater visual stimuli of the environment , the prints / engravings on the walls should certainly be reconsidered! This is just my own personal opinion and is not meant to offend the restaurants design team…

Well the title says it all. A final drilling and filling of my upper left wisdom tooth and here, four days later, the underlying root is throbbing away merrily. Our babysitter Nikki is about to arrive and here I sit, the children rampaging away upstairs and we are soon to head off to dine at the Vineyard. Popped a couple of paracetamol and now hoping for the best. I will keep this blog short as John is about to arrive home, as is Nikki about to ring that door bell. I think I need to drink wine to numb the pain. Maybe an update later. Bon appetite…

I received my first birthday card this morning. There’s an Irish postal Mark so I think it is from Granny and Granddad in Dublin. Thank you Hazel and Michael. I think John and I are going out next weekend to celebrate it and we are going to do cake with the children on Sunday afternoon. Tara, Aaliyah and Amritsar are going to help our nanny Sindy bake it! Amritsar and Tara’s Birthday is coming up too at the end of March. I did some shopping for their big day today as I managed to escape the house as all are either at school or preschool until 3.15pm on a Thursday. Overall happy with the bits and bobs purchased. My own gift (from John) however is a days wage for a Chippie to come and rebuild a chunky mahogany coffee table. The gift is at my request. Another rip off purchase I made on eBay that fell to bits in a flash. Two hundred pounds splashed out on an antique table that fell apart. Don’t get me going – some of the rubbish available on eBay is scandalous. The table is basically four cut down snooker table legs that were badly screwed into a mahogany top. Some antique dealers attempt to botch together something from bits they had lying around. These kinds of things might look good in the photographs, but there you go, enough said. I miss the old brass coffee table. It was circular with a hole in the middle. It was a hand made Indian style with brass rivets in it (Victorian arts and crafts). Only problem was that the sheet brass started coming up and became a bit of a health and safety issue with the children. Luckily we were spared any cut fingers – it had to go, but it did look well in the living room. Safety above style sadly. I remember when auntie Sara’s two were little. She padded every surface with foam pipe cladding and removed everything from the living room. I do get it, but I have so many memories involving our old brass coffee table involving all of our children. They used it as a house, a castle, a car, even a flying saucer. Plus we stashed the sea of toys inside of it at the end of each day. I am a lot happier that we no longer do toys in the living room. It’s good to feel like an adult again. Just one of the sacrifices in the early years we all make.

Same-sex surrogacy (single) had been banned in India, so Andi, still longing to father a child, turned next to Thailand. With the news of a successful pregnancy everything looked rosy – until the Thai government also clamped down on surrogacy, the clinic was closed. For several heart-stopping days they didn’t know what had happened to their surrogate, or their baby. Finally they heard that all was well and Andi said goodbye to John and the girls and went to Thailand to be with his child. A son was born and a delighted Andi hoped to take him home within weeks. But what followed was an extraordinary saga of delays, denials and, eventually, Andi’s arrest on trumped up drug charges. Given the option by the arresting officers of waiting three months for a court date and a guaranteed three, month sentence, a second option was put on the table. No criminal record and the chance to be the first westerner to serve in the Royal Thai Army. This would take him to an army barrack’s deep in the Thai jungle, he had just one phone call, to tell John what had happened.

On the day he was freed Andi found John, and their son, waiting for him. Days later, after five long months of waiting, they flew home, to introduce the girls to their new baby brother.

When the surrogacy clinic in Thailand had closed Andi and John’s remaining embryos had been transferred, with the help of an Israeli agency, to Nepal, where surrogacy was still possible. At that stage, unsure of the outcome in Thailand, they had given the go-ahead for a surrogacy attempt. Now they heard that once again twins were expected, this time on the roof of the world. The massive 2015 earthquake in Nepal devastated much of the surrounding area of Kathmandu, plus many ancient temples and monuments in the city itself and for some time Andi and John didn’t know whether their surrogate or their babies had survived.

With the happy news that all was well, once more Andi kissed his family goodbye and set off, hoping that this time all would be well and he’d be home again soon with a new brother and sister for the children. But once again his attempt to bring the children home was thwarted by delays and difficulties and it was five months before he was able to bring the babies home. The babies passports were only issued after locals organised a ‘Witch Hunt’, his own Nepali visa had expired and the unexpected death of his mother.

It took Andi and John three and a half years to fulfil their dream of a family and during that time eighteen full moons passed while Andi remained stranded in India, Thailand and Nepal, waiting to bring their children home. As he waited the moon was so often his comfort and companion. He would sit and look at it, thinking of home and trusting that all would be well and that, no matter what it took, the children were coming home.

For John, holding the fort at home, it was a long, painful wait, while the other side of the world Andi went through hell – frightened, alone and facing hostility, prejudice and obfuscation. But he also found friendship, kindness and support and it was these that he would remember. And when he finally arrived back with the twins in December 2015, the journey over and the family together, it brought with it a wonderful sense of completion. All five children became British citizens and at last Andi and John could look to the future.

The big thaw in the Shires has left a patchwork green and white lawn on which the squirrels are playing. That was before Remus stormed down to the bottom of the garden, Gracie hot at his heels. You’ve got to smile as there’s never a victory for poor Remus or Gracie. They speed up the nearest tree, that is the squirrels do, not the dogs. It’s cold, but not like it was at the weekend. Six inches of snow dissolved to almost nothing within forty eight hours. As quick as it had fallen, it had gone. I also see that the birds have discovered the newly filled feeder. This afternoon I even spied one of our resident robins having a peck at the supersized peanuts contained therein. Shamefully I admit that the feeder has not been filled since the squirrels vandalised it last year, in their vain attempts to gorge on the contents. Naughty squirrels as they get to feast on the majority of seeds and kernels of the many trees and oaks in the general vicinity. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures!

Everyone here is fine. We made home made chips last night with Cumberland sausages. Caleb was absent as he had an appointment for his hearing at the hospital. They are considering that his slower learning rate may have something to do with slightly impaired hearing. He has got to go back in six months. I am not too worried as he has come on a lot in the last six months, though still a long way to go to catch up with his sister Aaliyah. John and I ate Indian last night as we often do. A medium tempered chicken curry and a Dahl That I wrestled from the freezer. We had basmati rice and chapatti, with mango chutney on the side. The provisions cupboard boasts home made mango jam, but I think I might fuse my love of Indian cookery with jam making and make my own mango chutney in the coming weeks. My two hours whilst the little ones were at preschool gave me the time to make six jars of Rasmelon Berry Jam. And with the left over gravy (curry sauce) from last nights chicken curry I made a mutter (pea curry) for the children tonight. Sindy is just collecting the girls from school and I am watching CBeebies with the little ones. We Just had milk and cookies, the dogs are circling the table in hope. A pretty average winters day really. The girls just arriving home, so that’s all for now.

Eighteen Moons is the extraordinary and moving story of Andi and John and how they brought together, against huge odds, the family they had longed for. Today they are loving fathers to five beautiful children including two sets of twins, all of them under the age of six. But the story of how this very special family came together is a tale filled with heartache and frustration, determination and courage. It’s also a story full of humor, human frailty and, above all, love.

Their quest for children took them across the world and brought them up against seemingly impossible challenges. But as the whims of officials and government directives thwarted their every move and sent them on a wild adventure which took them from India to Thailand and on to Nepal, Andi and John refused to give up.

Extraordinarily, Andi and John’s first twins were the last British surrogate babies to leave India, their son was the last to leave Thailand and their second twins were the first British children to be born through surrogacy in Nepal.

Happily together for twenty years and the besotted owners of two daft but loveable Dalmatians, Andi and John longed for children to complete their family. Two, they thought, would be perfect, ideally one fathered by each of them.

After looking at surrogacy options worldwide, India seemed to offer everything they hoped for and in 2012 they went to India to begin the surrogacy process. A few months later, they heard that their surrogate was expecting twins.

Andi went to India for the birth; the plan was that John would join them and together they would bring the babies home. When two gorgeous daughters were born they couldn’t have been happier. But what followed was a nightmare of bureaucracy and obfuscation, as John, the twins’ natural father, was refused a visa and the Indian Government refused to let Andi leave with the babies. For month after month Andi lived in India, caring for the girls, while he and John struggled to find a way to bring them home. At every turn they were thwarted until they became so desperate they considered smuggling the girls out of the country by boat. Their daughters were eight months old when, finally, John was able to go and bring them home.

A reunion with one of my oldest friends Sarah on my way to the Stag rather waylaid me as we talked and talked and supped away on the finest champagne! She doesn’t realise just how great her company is. Anyhow, my apologies to the lads at the Stag as the following day, I slipped in the ice and twisted my ankle. So I missed out on the weekend of alcoholic oblivion. In favour of struggling to the train station and buying another ticket to bring me home. Any sympathy there for my poor swollen ankle? I think not. The snow really had fallen some six inches in the Shires and the garden looks like a winter scape from a Christmas movie. Though they didn’t build a snowman, the sleigh was popular and there were lots of snowball fights with our neighbours and their families. I believe that our crew won (overall). Good for them. So here I sit hugging Amritsar and watching a dinosaur movie called ‘The land before time’. Aaliyah was just hugging Gracie and the boys have just put on their shoes thinking that they are going outside to play in the snow. John is responsible for tonight’s dinner of Moroccan shoulder of lamb with cous cous. The fire is radiating heat and everything is snuggly and warm.

We just spent the last hour or so shelling monkey nuts, to fill the bird feeder, which is now hanging on the wisteria on the terrace. Job well done. All five children worked really hard and we are hoping that the birds enjoy eating in this time of difficulty, as the snow is still deep. No little worms to dig up on the lawn. Remus is also snuggling in now. We all feel warm and fuzzy. Roll on dinnertime.

Friendlies ‘Glen and Victoria’ are finally tying the knot at the end of the month. Good for them, wishing them a very happy future together. Now I know that Victoria had her hen weekend a couple of weeks ago, Glen however has opted for a boys boozy stag at… wait for it, sadly not Marbella, rather Weston Super Mare on the Costa del Zummerzet in the West Country. A themed weekend with local entertainment (ooh are) being held at the Pontins holiday camp, called Incider! What does that entail you may ask? To be honest ‘What happens in Weston, stays in Weston’. I think that only fair. I am only doing two of the three nights as I’m missing the children like crazy. I will get home at 4pm on Sunday. Sadly I will miss the fancy dress party (finale), but I hope there are a few photos of the crew!

Back to the children, though I am travelling to Weston from London Paddington, I received a text from school this morning, saying that there is no school today, so I guess Sindy will be having fun in the garden. I am expecting a snowman that is a bit of an improvement on last years poor soul. Sat on the train at present, next stop Reading. Just received a phone call from John saying that he also has taken the day off. ‘ Snowed in’ he said and four to six inches he concluded. He is working from home but he let me know that they are all going into the garden shortly for a snow ball fight. As adults, we have to hark back to what a snowfall here in the U.K. meant when we were children. A magical thing completely.

I remember a video I took of Remus and Gracie playing in the snow (they also love it) back in 2013. It was the day before I travelled to Mumbai for Amritsar and Tara’s births. That year the snow was very late. A flash cold spell dusted the garden on 22nd March. I’m sure all the children will love the snowball fight, but I am expecting that snowman. The countryside through the windows of the train looks as white as snow! Funny that.

Back to my journey, I am seeing a very good friend Sarah from Bristol who lives in Weston Super Mare. She lives there now and it has been absolutely ages since we last got to spend time together. I am hoping that we can get her an armband for the event and she can become an honorary ‘Stag’ for the weekend. We are going to meet at the station and take it from there. To be honest, I feel a bit hung over as I write this and we haven’t even started on the serious drinking. I believe the bar is well priced, so there’s gonna be a few comatose cider drinkers needing paramedic assistance for sure before the end of the weekend. And I wonder what plans the lads have to play a prank on Glen! We will just have to wait to find out. More later, that is if I’m not feeling too inebriated.

Well what about yesterday’s blog? I tried to write yesterday in the afternoon. Thor kept coming up and chat, chat, chat. That is, between the snot, snot, snot.

There were occasional screams from Caleb and Aaliyah kept interrupting, showing me her dress a baby rabbit on her iPad (Amritsar’s Old Lenovo tablet). I was trying to write about burnt sugar. Don’t ask, yesterday seems a while back now. The interruptions did not stop when Tara and Amritsar arrived home with Sindy. I closed the World Press app imagining that my writings would be saved, but when I went back after the children’s dinner had been consumed, the writing has vanished within the ether! I should of course have started again from scratch, but rather that, I chose to open a bottle of wine and snuggle in with the hounds. Well there you have it. John rushed in and straight back out as there was a residents meeting of the freeholders and wasn’t back until ten o’clock, when we finally got to eat dinner (spaghetti and meatballs). At present I am sat on the train, Sindy having dropped me at the station. The sun is shining brilliantly, but it is freezing outside. We had a light dusting of snow yesterday evening and the children loved the sight of it this morning. Do you remember as a child, the treat of seeing snowfall in the U.K. Wasn’t it such a rare treat? There is snow forecast for tomorrow, but sadly not so in London. I will miss the children revealing on the carpet of icy white dust tomorrow after school. Sindy has even procured a sledge for them to play on. Lucky them!

These were words echoed throughout the past week from each of the little ones (Thor, Aaliyah and Caleb)! Why you might ask? Well there has been the underlying threat of starting this week at ‘Mrs Snodgrass’s Naughty School’. All three were told on Wednesday of last week that their behaviour had to get better or they would start this week with The fabled Mrs Snodgrass. Hence they have by in large, tried to be better behaved, but can a leopard change its spots? Hmmmh, me thinks not, though there is hope as I am a firm believer that you can teach an old dog a new trick. Remus and Gracie are proof of that. Remus was five and Gracie just two when I taught them how to ‘SPIN’ and OMG, when they spin, they do it for England! They could also spin the socks off of the Northern African ‘Dervish’. I will try to video them at play and show it in a blog next week maybe. Anyhow, back to the little ones behavioural changes! No – they did not start the week at ‘Naughty School’, rather their usual preschool. The ultimatum was that if they did not try to be good (or at least better behaved), Mrs Snodgrass would be called last night (Sunday) to finalise the three places for an immediate start. Their behaviour last week slowly began to look promising, but remember that they are only three and four years old, so this whole fiction is basically the ultimate in deterrent. There has been some ups (with such well behaved children) and a few downs also where They have all pushed or hit or screamed at each other (I think biting has finally been eradicated). I guess that these three things are only ever directed at each other and not us, their parents, it is a good thing as it shows that they do have certain limitations. There are those children out there who do try to bully their own parents. So it’s not so bad really. Back to last night, they were all commended after their bath for (overall) being so well behaved and I faked a phone call to Mrs Snodgrass saying that we did not need to start ‘Naughty School’ after all. They were very happy and all went off to bed smiling.

Doing the maths on this one, I can truly say that with the girls sixth birthday coming up in March, I have pretty much had a cold for the last three years. They started preschool three years ago and that’s when this cold began. You know the way that children suck and chew on pretty much all toys and share them around with all of the their fellow preschool attendees, well even with the girls at big school and the fact that they are more akin to washing hands and not sharing small plastic objects coated in bacteria with everyone, we still have the three little ones doing just that! I wash my hands at least forty times daily. I scrub the kitchen table at least twice and to be honest, although I don’t get stomach problems, I guess cold viruses are just too virulent. One cold leads on after another and so on. Looking at most old photos of our guys when they were preschool age, almost all of them have runny noses. Thor seems to be the worst, it’s just one cold after another. Recently his nose has just been a snot factory and when it runs, sometimes it almost reaches his chin if unnoticed for even twenty minutes. It is only the month of August that everyone seems to be healthy and without a cold. I am hoping that with them all at big school in September, the sheer volume of this will quieten down to a trickle. I really hope so. I’m tired of coughing and sneezing and blowing my nose and the sore throat. Roll on September.

Okay Victoria, this ones for you! The most basic recipe for jam is plum jam. It is the easiest and quite simply, one of the best. The darkness of the outcome is dependent on the ripeness of the plums. Two punnets ended up being 700g once halved and the pits removed. Into a pan (no water), just several squeezes of pre squeezed lemon juice from a bottle. Gently bring up to the boil.

You want the fruit to boil down for ten minutes, stirring occasionally.

Once your mixture looks a little stewed, now is the time to add 700g sugar. Please note NO pectin is needed for plum jam as plums are naturally very high in pectin. Cook on for another ten minutes. Your jam will become more glossy and translucent.

Skim the top to remove any of the scum that forms as and when. When it starts to look a little more gelatinous after maybe ten more minutes, you will find it falls from a wooden spoon less rapidly. It will kind of hold together a little. Do not cook (in total) for more than 30 minutes. If you do the jam will take on a heavy, jammy taste that is not so good. You don’t want to overcook your sweet nectar. This is the time to remove any remaining, whitish scum from the top

I’m using a jam funnel but as long as you go slowly with the kitchen ladle (no spills on the rim of the jar etc), you should be okay. Please note that the jam jars, lids, ladle and funnel have all just come out of the dishwasher, so they are completely sterilised. This said, do be careful not to touch anywhere other than the outside of the jars and lids. Leave the jam several millimetres below the top of the jar and screw on the lid tightly. You may want to use a tea towel as the jar will be hot. Now place the jam jars in the biggest pan you possess and cover with water. Boil the jars for twenty minutes to finalise the sterilisation. I think that Nigella doesn’t do this, rather she will just tip the hot jam jars upside down. This kills any potential bacteria below the lid. I opt for the traditional method however. If you don’t have a pan big enough, do it Nigella’s way.

Hey presto you have a real treat ahead. The children will love it, but you might just want to keep it for the grownups, mixed with a small splash of water and drizzled over Greek yoghurt or ice cream.

Got to go as Thor is upstairs shouting rather loudly when he should be having his nap. Just me this afternoon as Sindy our nanny is off. I will update you as and when!

And guess what? Yes, we’re having Thai food. All made yesterday leaving me completely free today. Even the rice cooked and just waiting to be reheated in the microwave. Last time these particular friends came over, we feasted on several Indian dishes, but this time I opted to go for Thai food. Starting with Tom Yum noodles with spring onion and a shrimp and for mains, 3 hour cooked Beef Massaman, Thai red curry with chicken thigh, a yellow curry with chicken, shrimp and potatoes, accompanied with lashings of basmati rice. To be honest, I wouldn’t cook with any other rice, even with Thai food, basmati rules supreme. All the curry pastes made from scratch of course. Well I made all of that yesterday and you know what! Like any dish with spice, it’s best enjoyed the following day! The flavours all fuse together and although all of the spices are all cooked out when cooked, there’s just something about them continuing to permeate for twenty four hours. Okay, okay, today! Quiet house after the morning school runs on a Thursday, just me and the crazy dogs. They are constant, like two groupies just staring up, expecting something, usually a doggy treat. But like all family pets, I love them and wouldn’t have things any other way. I made five jars of one of my yummy combo jams. Have I mentioned the flavour combos before? Maybe, but I will reiterate, today’s combo was ‘Kiwi and Lime’. Totally amazing on hot toast, dripping with butter. I will list ‘Dadda’s Jams’ combos below:

Rasmelon Berry

Peach Peary

Black Grapple

Ginger & Pumpkin

Strawlime Berry

Blue Cherry Berry

Just a few amazing combos alongside the usual classic flavours, but like pumpkin, you can ‘Jam’ with pretty much any fruit (or squash). So thinking to tomorrow, I have two punnets of dark Victoria plums and a kilo of sugar. Lesson one in jam making is make an easy one. So dishwash those spare jam jars in preparation and lets take tomorrow’s lesson in the AM. All for now, nite nite.

Yesterday saw the daft canine duo that is Remus and Gracie visit the Vets for their annual vaccination booster and this years kennel cough jab. They were weighed, Remus a very healthy twenty two kilos and our Grace came in at twenty seven! Girl dogs are by in large fifteen percent smaller than their male counterparts! So she is a little overweight, but this is due to her general relaxed approach to things. She only ever runs with speed when a squirrel or two are spotted at the bottom of the garden. She is always on Remus’s tail. On the other hand Remus is a fine standing dog. He is a real looker! Did I say that his father was a best of breed at crufts? Anyhow, he burns off his calories being so hyper all of the time. The Vet almost fainted when she realised that he was ten years old. She thought him a sprightly pup of eighteen months or younger. We had to laugh. Another entry about today later…

Well a smooth enough beginning to the day, however some dramas to be had on the midday snooze for Aaliyah, Caleb and Thor. Our nanny Sindy was off for the midday break and upon her return, the restless little ones (I heard from the living room) were told to ‘sit on the sofa’ whilst she surveyed the destruction that was Amritsar and Tara’s bunk beds. All of their ‘bits and bobs’ that were stowed away in their music boxes and special shoe boxes had been strewn to the winds and all the little ones could do was scream and shout, the concept of guilt was not present. They descended the stairs to be told that they would make right the damage when Tara and Amritsar returned from school and I scowled at them as unhappily as I could muster! Thor and Caleb just giggled, though Aaliyah screamed that she was sorry. ‘I want to be a good girl, I want to be a good girl’ she screamed. I listened for a moment and finally said in an elevated tone ‘enough is enough’! I picked up my phone and made a few finger motions. ‘Am I speaking to Mrs Snodgrass’ I asked. ‘Yes, it’s me again. This time they really have gone too far and do not feel at all sorry – is there a chance that Aaliyah, Caleb and Thor can begin ‘Naughty School’ on Monday morning’? ‘What, yes they can’ I said, perfect, ‘we will finalise things on Friday’. ‘ No, not Mrs Snodgrass, no, no, no’ screamed Aaliyah. Thor added ‘No Dadda, no’ and Caleb just looked on shamefaced. Anyhow, Sindy went off to collect the girls and things were later tidied up…

Thor had also refused to eat lunch earlier, much to the merriment of Caleb, as he ate Thor’s discarded cheese and pickle sandwiches. This made Thor extremely hungry just before dinner, he was the first to finish his ‘ broccoli, pesto, pasta’ and a banana was had for dessert.

My day comprised of cooking three Thai curries, even cooking the rice for dinner tomorrow night, as we have friends calling over for dinner. I continued my Jammin’ with a figgy pear combo, just three jars. Which reminds me, are you still up to make your own batch of home made jam? I did say a month or two ago that you should reserve three or four jam jars and we could make our very first sweet and sticky jam together! I hope you have the empty jam jars as I think we should go ahead in the next day or two to impress some of our friends and family with our very own home made jams. Be sure to buy two punnets of plums and a kilo of sugar in the next day or so – let’s go for Friday. Come back to this blog on Friday prepared won’t you!

Last thoughts for the day are on Aaliyah. The dynamo torch that she had chosen at the science museum on Sunday has been cannibalised and turned into a home made ‘taser’, I have had to confiscate it due to worries of injuries, I say it again and again ‘everything gets broken in this house’ can we please stop breaking everything. Aaliyah alone in the last twelve months has broken the logo / label on the Aga oven, scratched deeply into the Aga fridge. She’s broken a multitude of toys and Xmas decorations, scratched into the kitchen table and the antique, Victorian (walnut veneered) table in the living room. I am told things get better in time! I don’t remember the girls being this destructive at the age of three. We persevere don’t we, we have to!

The first flurry of snow for this year was this afternoon. It felt very seasonal and it was very cold outside (obviously). The Dogs refused to go out and pee. They were those mega flakes of snow, you could hardly see beyond ten metres at one point. All gone now of course as the snow turned to sleet and finally to regular rain. Just that feeling of deep winter made me think of something festive! The air in the kitchen is now scented with ‘all spice’ as I just decided to make a small batch of the Xmas, X-Rated Jam, just three jars. My jam jars arrived this morning and I just couldn’t resist poaching pears and raisins in rum. A little apple for its pectin and sugar. The girls are just back from school and we’re all watching Peter Rabbit.’A good Rabbit never gives up’ from Peter! Good advice for young, enquiring minds. I made ‘man size’ meatballs and a ‘heavy on the basil’ tomato sauce for daddy and dadda’s dinner and the children are going to enjoy burgers made from the rest of the pork mixture. Due to being a bit busy, I’m just finishing this off post dinnertime, the burgers were well received. And five less hungry little people are about to get ready for bed. No nanny this afternoon, so the girls were dropped off by one of the mums from school.

Now if you’ve found the time to be reading this, didn’t you know, there’s a whole novel on Amazon Kindle you could be absorbed in. Do I need to remind you of the name (Eighteen Moons)? It’s not every day one gets to finally publish a book, so without the fanfare the day draws to an end. Every journey has a beginning and for my book, today was just that! But for me, a regular kind of day, but I did get to enjoy seeing the first snow of 2019 and the children are looking forward to eating the X-Rated jam on their toast tomorrow morning… bye for now!

Now there’s an introduction for today’s diary entry. Yes indeed, I did it. My memoirs have finally made it from my computers desktop, and found its way into the ether of what is Amazon Kindle. Now as for promotion and marketing, well I sigh – that is well and truly something that I do not have a budget for, rather just a small appeal to any of you out there that might be interested in the story of how my family came to be, please consider reading the story of our attempts at ‘Family Planning’. That name was actually a contender for the name of the novel. But in the end I settled for ‘Eighteen Moons’. As I have previously mentioned, the moon seemed to be a commodity of time over the eighteen months that I lived in India, Thailand and Nepal. If you do enjoy the read, I do hope that you will find the spirit and enthusiasm to recommend it to friends and family as I can only hope for the story to be communicated and be told through the grapevine, by word of mouth. So for any of you out there with a Kindle or the Kindle app for Android and iPhone, please just search the two little words ‘Eighteen Moons’. I thank you in advance and appreciate any feedback in both the ‘customer reviews’ area of Kindle and of course, to copy and paste your comments on here, my ‘Diary of a Gay Dad’. Thank you in advance.

The weekend has flashed us by. This afternoon spent at the Science museum in Winchester and a roast chicken dinner just consumed and Jim Jams and tooth brushing being administered as we speak. Thor now sat on the potty doing a poo and Aaliyah skipping around with her new mechanical, dynamo torch. This was obviously a purchase from that all too familiar shop at the exit of such institutions as museums and entertainment days out. Thor still sat on the potty pooing and cleaning his teeth at the same time. Just had a hug from Tara and Amritsar and they are just about ready to ascend the stairs. A little screaming , but overall fairly civil. They’re upstairs now and the only sounds are Thor’s screams of ‘Caleb’s got my phone’ and Amritsar shouting ‘oooh oooh, oooh oooh’. A bunch of crazies maybe, but they are our crazies I guess and we love them to bits.

I’ve just decided to return to ‘Dadda’s Jams and confectionary’ aspirations, since the small break over the holidays, so I will order some of my signature ‘Orcio’ jars tonight and get Jammin’ once again next week.

Over these last two weeks I have avoided sending out my script en masse to the literary agents. I think I am going to take the book forward through amazon kindle. So my (novel) memoirs might be downloadable within the next few days (if that is of any interest to you)! This decision was partly due to the super red, blood moon (a total lunar eclipse) happening here presently in the UK. Within my memoirs I did mention this phenomenon twice and i am thinking that tomorrow’s red moon might be a good enough reason to finally tell the story of how ‘Two Blokes’ set about planning and conceiving their children through international surrogacy over a period of three and a half years…

I’ll keep you up to date on this new happening and I hope that a few of you might find the story a good read and hopefully recommend it to friends in a positive way. It’s a very human story really, it just happens to be about two blokes getting pregnant (with help) and the multitude of hurdles and hoops that they had to jump over and through, in order to make their family possible. On reflection – Job Well Done!

Friday already! A quiet week in London after having celebrated Johns birthday on Tuesday night. The food was impeccable and we arrived back to the London flat for John to open his birthday presents. The children had all signed a card that the little ones had made at preschool (we’ve stopped producing cards from each and every one of them if it’s not necessary), we had some white wine and went to bed. What were the presents you might ask! Well with the price for robotic vacuum cleaners having dropped sufficiently, there was one of those (it even self docks to power up and there is a mop function). A pair of apple, wireless ear buds, four antique silver napkin rings and a large, bone handled magnifying glass with matching letter opener.

Moving forward to today, I am sat on the train on my way back to ‘The Shires’. The few days have flashed by and I am now looking forward to the weekend. I do miss the family terribly when I have my two days away every two weeks, but the peace and quiet attained is a tonic and I am grateful for the stillness and tranquility of the London flat. I finished up there earlier, taking photographs of each room at opposing ends with the intention of listing the apartment on a flat swap website. We are thinking of going to South beach, Florida in May, when it warms up sufficiently and I thought as the flat is largely empty, this is something we should try. It’s very central so we should have some success. Though we want to travel down the Miami Keys also, so let’s hope a few of those new age crafty sorts that live that way are in to house swapping as it’s so ‘organic’ isn’t it? We held off from letting via Airbnb as that would affect the mortgage! I wonder if the masses who do Airbnb realise that – their house insurance is affected also! But I think the occasional house swap is allowed.

When I walk through the doors, the girls should just be back from school, but the loudest welcome is always from the dogs, Remus and Gracie. They are usually ballistic and won’t settle down before I have given them at least 2 doggy treats (Winalot shapes). I don’t think John or Sindy give them as freely as I do, so when they know I am back, they get very excited.

I don’t think we have ‘A Plan’ this weekend, but there are no birthday party invites for the children. It’s funny how their lives and play often revolves around Holidays, Christmas, their Birthdays and their friends birthday parties, I guess they always get cake, sweets and chocolate, so they are things that they always remember. The going home gift after Thor’s Birthday, we gave a large tube of fruit pastilles or jelly tots, I later regretted that as that much sugar in one sitting, it was way too much for a children’s metabolism. Our not so famous five were climbing up the walls, so I had to confiscate the rest of the said tubes of sweeties (and eek them out over time) and I will think again when it comes to the girls birthdays at the end of March. Children plus sugar means hyperactive and unruly. I’ll go with the other mums ‘Going home bags’ options and give out sticker books, crayons and glitter!

Back to the weekend, I will keep you appraised as we journey through it. I’m almost home now.