Diary of a Gay Dad. I am a full time dad to five young children.

My mother passed away 4 years ago now. She had very sadly never met our youngest three children. We do miss her as we do Granny Hazel and we do keep their names spoken and remembered every so often.

My mother found a new route in later life whilst living a full life in Victoria in Australia! She acted in a couple of adverts and was an extra in a few television programs and even the movie ‘Charlottes Web’.

I have watched the movie once or twice before but have never managed to find her scenes. I believe they gave her a closeup in the hairdressers scene, but today after Tara and Thor had adopted the spider from behind the sofa, Tara then found ‘Charlottes Web’ on Netflix.

To my surprise, I found myself watching very closely for any of the scenes that my mother might have been in. And today I struck gold!

Thank you Jo, David, Adele and Hardy for your company and the bubbles at cake cutting time. And also the melody of ‘Happy Birthday to Me’.

Another person there at the time of my actual birthday was of course my mother ‘Grandma Jean’ and today I thank you for being there for me… in loving memory – Rest in Peace.

Today’s post might sound a bit self indulgent, but the title might have given it away, yes I am one year the wiser today.

The holiday house is lightly dusted with a mass of paper confetti as the children are doing their thing, making Dadda a multitude of paper Birthday stuff! So I guess a lot of tidying up to do in a bit!

Yesterday’s visit to a softplay centre and animal farm went extremely well. A video of the children’s antics later on perhaps.

A birthday spent on our chilly, rainy and windswept Atlantic coastline is a first for me. A few patches of blue sky to be seen at present, alongside the squawking of sea gulls! On the subject of presents, thank you Sindy for the bottle of Blue Sapphire Gin – it will be surely needed come this evening. My gift from John will be a few days in arriving however! As you may remember, my iPhone has all but died on me! Yes, the Apple Corporation has won. Time for a new phone sadly.

Tara has just found a spider behind the sofa and she and Thor have adopted it! We are a far cry from the old days when Tara would have simply shrieked and Thor would have just squished it!

The howling of storm Dennis is still with us! Caleb has been practicing his howling! I thought that he was trying to sound like a wolf, but when they all started howling, I realised that it was the wind that he was trying to emulate.

An update later perhaps and if I find time, that video of pure enjoyment at the softplay. They had such a great time, Tara and friend Malky hid when it was time to leave. It took 20 minutes to find them hiding In a cylindrical slide!

Thank you for reading.

Yes, we arrived at the holiday house in Cornwall at around 5pm this evening. Storm Dennis has been growling at us all day. And now that we are settled on the UK’s Atlantic coast, it’s whining and huffing can be heard loudly, even through the double glazed windows of the beach house.

We were all rather tired come the children’s bedtime, but we managed to settle them and went on to watch a movie with a couple of glasses of wine once they were sleeping.

On previous holidays the children have refused to settle, in fact the first nights have been impossible really. But on this occasion, bedtime was bedtime! The comatose state that we were all left with after last nights sleep deprivation has guaranteed their compliance with Mr Sandman!

Off to bed myself in a moment, seeing friends tomorrow, updates then – nite nite.

Yawn, yawn and about to broom broom. I foolishly stayed awake until 1am last night, John had wisely gone up around 11pm. Little did we know that come 4am the children would amass to our room and invade the bed. I took 10 minutes to decide to evacuate myself to the living room and kip down with the dogs on the sofa. Fifteen minutes later and Thor arrived exclaiming if we were leaving yet! It’s the middle of the night I informed him and sent him back upstairs. Another twenty minutes passed and in came John, shortly after, in followed the entire crew.

Sleeping arrangements for the next hour or two, and this is on two separate three seater sofas, me Remus and Gracie on one sofa with Caleb lying on top of me and then daddy with Tara, Amritsar, Aaliyah and Thor on the second sofa.

Come 7am I just gave up on the idea of sleep and put a movie on for the children on Netflix. John returned upstairs for an extra hours sleep – he is doing a five hour drive shortly after all! Me, I can grab an hours sleep in the car later I guess…

Happy Holidays hey!

Today was the last day of School and half term begins. The children were all home at 3.30pm and a dinner of hotdogs and Dadda’s home made barbecued chicken wings was consumed early in order to allow them to return to school for a disco!

I hope they have a good time. I remember one of my final school discos back in the day. Smoking behind the bike sheds (literally) and under aged drinking were what I remember mostly! I guess that we have all of that to come!

Imagine ‘Diary of a Gay Dad – The Teenage years’ just might be an entertaining read. Though I believe that we have a few calm years to come before the storm! Fingers crossed on that front.

Yes, that is what I missed the most in these last 6 weeks of pre- agrarian and that was what I enjoyed most last night for my big Birthday meal! The scallops for my starter were fine and the lamb rump for my main was fine, but the triple cooked chips were the best! I didn’t even bother with a dessert!

On the subject of food, I spent half of the morning bagging up dry food for our holiday in Cornwall tomorrow! And some of this afternoon assembling clothes for myself and the obligatory collection known as ‘toiletries’. Quite why this assemblage of items ended up with that name, I really don’t know!

I’ve been very good on the carbohydrate front. You know, it’s a real change of habit, now avoiding carbs rather than banning them outright. I’m just going to see where that goes! I’m rather looking forward to sharing that box of Prestat chocolates with John that was left over from Christmas.

Oh! Before I forget – all the best to Margie, one of my wonderful readers, she is on her journey home to Denver (Colorado) today from her big adventure! I hope you had a wonderful holiday. It all sounded totally amazing.

On that note, maybe a bit about my holiday tomorrow guys.

In my Uni’ days I always got a little bit excited when I got to play with ceramics. Metalwork too if the truth be known. The common denominator however has to be photography!

I noticed this morning that my iPhone camera feed dates back to the minute that I returned from India with our two oldest children, Tara and Amritsar. Ever since then, as you can imagine, baby pics, baby pics, baby pics.

I do have previous photography backed up on an external hard drive and recently uploaded the images to my P.C. And I am glad that I did so!

Today I am showing photos of a couple of my statement pieces, photographed with just the right light and at interesting angles.

Form is everything really isn’t it? Both fluid and organic form contrasts alongside the linear and angular.

I am no artist, but have spent most of my adult life in the field of design. Maybe more on that another day. It seems very strange to be blogging about something other than ‘My Big Family Life’. But there we go, I once thought and felt differently than I do today, more selfish in a way! But there were a few good results along the way.

As ever, thank you for reading!

Okay, okay, I’m not a quitter! Tonight’s headline would indicate that tomorrow I will be heading for Carbohydrate highway and reacquaint my self with sugary sweet and complex carbs alike!

The truth is that tomorrow is my birthday meal out, yes five days before my big day and that John has also rejoined the mass of you in following a regular diet these past two days. He has been amazing to follow the pre – agrarian concept for these last six weeks since the dawn of 2020. I thank him for that immensely.

But what with tomorrow being carb neutral for us both for my birthday meal, Friday being Valentine’s Day, the children on half term from the weekend, our family holiday starting on Saturday – waiting for my birthday to finish the diet just seems impractical.

I have craved carbs on one or two occasions, but overall I had adapted well! My mental well being seems slightly enhanced, my physical body feels more in tune! Of course, these are just personal observations. I have lost a few kilos (several pounds) and I feel so much firmer for these six weeks carb free. I lost my slight love handles and my tummy feels like stone! Success I believe, but what were the lessons learnt and what will I keep with myself?

My morning coffee is just great with one spoonful of canderel. No more sugar in coffee, though the maximum I ever drink is two cups a day. I have not really missed desserts, but I am open to the very occasional entire tub of Haagen Das. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and scoff, don’t you? But overall, I will only have a dessert every three or four days. Sadly, crisps and savoury snacks are a necessary no no! I have changed my relationship with these things, I really have.

Another inevitable outcome is smaller portion sizes. I am at one with giving my partner John bigger portions. It’s not an equality thing – he really does have a faster metabolism. Good for him. But I think that my actual stomach has slightly decreased in size, so I really don’t want large portions.

Yes, I am also happy to reacquaint myself with potatoes, rice and pasta, but I do not feel any compulsion to gorge. That is a massive lesson learnt. Just forgetting the supposed ‘norm’ for six weeks has been a real wake up call.

Thank you so much for being alongside me these last weeks, you have made this pre – agrarian mindset a lot more achievable. My eating habits have certainly improved for the better.

As you know, this wasn’t about the weight loss, just the idea of personal wellness and that has certainly gone from the basic model to the otherwise improved version of myself…

Listening to Clair de lune at present – feeling good!!! Thank you for reading.

What can I say! Only Caleb and Aaliyah made it into school today. Our other three little bears were off with that bug that is going around.

Just left Sindy to do the school pickup with our three little troopers in the back of the car. She dropped me off in the local town centre and I’ve been scouting the shops for Birthday presents for Tara and Amritsar’s big 7th Birthday next month. Funny that it is my birthday that coming up next week and here I am searching for gifts for the girls.

This year my birthday falls on half term and we are away for the week in Cornwall, leaving on Saturday afternoon. More on that at the time of course. We are doing a birthday meal on the Thursday of this week. Again, more on that at the time I guess.

It’s pouring with rain at the moment and the storm winds are still a little blustery. Wow, wasn’t last night bad across the whole of the U.K.? Winds of 80mph! As a result, at the edge of the woodlands at the bottom of our garden a fir tree has uprooted besides the driveway. Thankfully the wind had blown it down in towards the woodland and not the driveway. It will need some action taken in order to make the surrounding area safe. Though I must add, when cut into rounds, there will be a good supply of firewood for next winter.

Sindy about due at this point so I will sign off. As ever, thank you for reading.

Wow, the time has just evaporated like water in the Desert! Watching the BBC News at 10 now and feeling tired!

I really must take note of moments as they spontaneously happen, engulf and then dissipate. Too much to remember, too little to point out at this late moment.

I can only thank our Brighton based friends Victoria and Glen for their and children Phoenix and Lucy’s company this weekend. Not to forget Fenton and his licky antics (him being the son of Remus)!

The children’s bath time was as ever, the end of our patently weekly offerings at 7pm this evening, though firstly Thor and then Caleb had certain issues they wanted to shout down the stairwell for around an hour. Now all completely silent – the week is over, a new one ever ready to begin.

Excuse the picture tonight being of a previous visit from Glen and Victoria, I did not take any photos this weekend due to more iPhone 6 issues! Shame on you Apple for your damaging my iPhone 6 Plus yet further with your latest IOS update destroying my Apple experience yet further. The camera was not affected, but I am so angry that my microphone now renders a conversation impossible via regular telephone. Not a hardware fault as I can still be heard by my recipient via a Skype call. I am almost considering looking at Google, Microsoft or Samsung for my future telephone requirements (well almost)!!! These are unbelievable antics from a company like Apple, trying to force their profits yet higher with offering ‘the latest upgrade’ whilst slowly destroying your very own personal property from within. Shame on you, these manoeuvres should be illegal. Just like the global tax evasion you so seek out! And these comments are coming from me, a non politically spoken blogger, out there, just one voice, one of so many, out in the ether!

Thor was a few months old when he was first introduced to MiMi. We lived in Bangkok, Thailand. We lived there for 5 months before his U.K. passport was issued. John had to work at home in London of course and look after the girls Amritsar and Tara, so he could only visit us twice over that time. On his first visit he brought with him MiMi (The Thai word for bear, or rather bear-bear). He purchased him at the Harrods shop at Heathrow Airport. I nearly always film a video in horizontal! So I am as surprised as you maybe that this video is in portrait! Go figure. A big thank you also to Ameena who helped me out in these early months. It was her that helped me name MiMi. I simply asked her for the Thai word for bear! If you could see MiMi now, obviously Thor is the (much) bigger of the two besties. And MiMi is now a rather thread bare bear.

At present I am sat at Paddington Station in London awaiting a train home. I am reminded of a Paddington Bear soft toy that Thor was given for Christmas. Thor absolutely loves it and he has by in large, hugged it almost as much as his beloved MiMi ever since. If you hug it enough it comes out with the words ‘Hello, my name is Paddington’ and then he lets out a little roar!

As you can imagine, there are a mass of cuddly toys for all of the children to adopt, however they all have their own specific beloved.

I am also reminded that the last time that I was sat in this very seat, I had a conversation with an elderly gentleman. Like his generation, he found talking to strangers easy. I think that the younger generations, especially here in London, don’t find it as straight forward. Anyhow, he talked about himself and then about thinking of patenting an idea of his. He asked for an unbiased opinion and I graciously gave it. Okay, enough said. He talked very freely and then the conversation lead on to the fact that he used to be best friends with the brother of Michael Bond, the creator of Paddington back in the 1970’s.

Small world isn’t it?

After a bout of vomiting last night and a headache, Amritsar was certainly not ready for school this morning.

Our nanny Sindy’s mum, Sonia is in hospital – we wish her well, but a broken hip bone cannot be an easy thing to deal with, both for her, Sonia or her children.

Back to today and Amritsar’s being at home. Do you know, it is her first sick day in two years of school! We hung out, watched the television and had some tablet time as well as me making 2kg of applesauce (sterilised and jarred) and 500g of pectin (bagged and frozen) for Dadda’s Jam. A new combo coming next week!!!

She felt rather special having stayed at home with Dadda today! She wasn’t sick at all in fact at any part of the day! She enjoyed homemade chicken noodle soup (as did I) that I rustled up with the carcass from Dadday and Dadda’s Sunday evening roast chicken dinner (phew) and did I mention that there was good dose of Netflix this afternoon!

With school, we emphasised the headache as she really was as right as rain throughout the entire day, she really is a fighter and fully ready and rearing to go tomorrow morning.

It was nice to just hang out. She had a smile on her face for most of the day – a bit surreal really.

Fighting fit and back to the rat race tomorrow.

I cooked a Mutter this afternoon (and rice) for their dinner tonight, as Aaliyah had asked specifically for it. It’s a family favourite as you might remember. But then I heard that they all had a mild chicken korma at school for lunch. So the pea curry was bagged up, ready for serving tomorrow night and they all enjoyed ham and chicken mayonnaise sandwiches on sourdough.

It is nice to spend one on one with a family member, even if it is just for the day! It’s a very hectic household you see…

Hold on you spaghetti lovers out there! I get it, we all love pasta. But with our pre – agrarian 6 weeks still 2 weeks from ending, I am still searching for a filling and nutritious pasta substitute. The non carb noodles did not come up to scratch! They were overpriced and tasteless, even fried in butter with salt, pepper and garlic! Though if consumed just boiled, there was a slight gag reflex. Not pleasant at all.

Butter sautéed Savoy cabbage was a definite winner, alongside steamed, finely chopped broccoli or cauliflower rice.

This lunchtime the children enjoyed their regular spaghetti with Dadda’s home made pasta sauce and Daddy and Dadda enjoyed a medley of peppers, courgette, mushrooms and cherry tomatoes, stir fried with garlic butter and seasoning. Filling, yet carb free. Of course we all enjoyed a snowstorm of Parmesan cheese.

Aaliyah’s spaghetti skills have improved vastly. Only Thor and Caleb’s bright orange faces needed tending with copious amounts of baby wipes! Their two noses, oozing with snot did not make easy work of it!

The picture says it all – sugar snap peas embraced sea bass, brown shrimp and a white wine and cream sauce!

Feeling a bit sluggish today after the allowance of carbs yesterday. Just a bit more ‘achey’ overall as it happens! John says he feels the same as usual, nothing more, nothing less, so I’m not sure if I can verify my scenario.

It’s weird – you know, with targeted advertising online! I’m getting so many Keto diet plan adverts popping up on Facebook etc! I think that menu planning with good sense far outweighs paying a company your hard earned cash for a few very simple recipe ideas!

The week has wizzed by and the not so famous five are presently on either their tablets or watching the television…

Yesterday’s day off from the diet was supposed to lead to a dessert at the restaurant, However we ditched dessert and rushed home to wait for Brexit! Well, it’s happened. As a nation we can only wait and see. Enough of the politics! The truth is that John and I were holidaying in County Wexford in Ireland at the time of the referendum, so we couldn’t vote as we were not here!

So, back to family life! One last thought though – I am sure that the future of our children has been shaped significantly into something different for the fact of being outside of the ‘European Block’. Again, we can only wait and see can’t we?

The children were all out cycling earlier today, And Thor has just been gifted Tara’s old red bike due to her and Bitzy’s upgrades at Christmas. Aaliyah has shown no interest in cycling however! So we will have to wait for Caleb to grow a little before he inherits Amritsar’s old bike. Aaliyah also told us this week that she has no plan to continue with her gymnastics class. It is a real shame as she had a lot of natural talent. Maybe we will see if she misses it and will possibly reconsider it in a year or two.

Back to the bicycles as ‘All Change’ a moment ago, as we have just had some screamies and tears from Thor as I suggested he might want the blue, bigger bike! I think that he is on side now. Caleb is thrilled and is presently riding around the coffee table on Tara’s old red bike. Thor has gone to the kitchen to wipe away the tears and blow the stream of snot from his nose! Did I say? Caleb is a Very Happy Boy!

Enough Said…

The whole pre – agrarian diet got me thinking about sausage and bacon! We have enjoyed several fry-ups in recent times. And I am very much enjoying them I must say. However, I am also a man who loves a good terrine. So why not layer up your sausages and bacon with a little home made stuffing (mushrooms and onions) and bake for around an hour on 170 centigrade! A definite winner served with a homemade tomato and basil sauce and braised Savoy cabbage.

Due to our babysitter coming tonight, carbs are very much on the menu today. Nothing booked as yet. I think that we are just going to get in the car and head to one of the many village Gastro Pubs that are within the local area! I enjoyed a plate of chips for my lunch and I believe John ordered in Pizza for his entire office this lunchtime. It is just one day off from the diet. And yes, I will definitely be ordering a dessert.

My sister in-law will be missed very much! My heart goes out to her three children.

I was very happy to receive a text from another nephew tonight, Joe.

Within family and extended family loss, people do connect / reconnect.

That is the nature of family isn’t it?

And being non religious by choice, for me, nature is the giver and the taker as far as I can see.

I remember the conversation with Tara and Ritzy after Granny Hazel died…

We are all made of stars!

What we are given is rescinded. That is the nature of things.

But we leave memories a plenty. And it is those memories that weigh forever more.

Thank you for reading…