This is a story of ‘Two Blokes’ really isn’t it. Two blokes at the start of it, that is! Why fatherhood you may ask? What prompted it and what changed in order to make it happen? John and I had been together for years and never considered the idea of having children. Well, we were ‘Two Blokes’ weren’t we! On the other hand, female couples have been having children for years thanks to sperm banks or a casual encounter with an understanding male friend. But come on, ‘Two Blokes’… Why? Back in the day when there was such inequality with the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) and wider communities, we didn’t even have the opportunity of marriage. When we finally tied the knot officially, there was no such thing as gay marriage, only the newly introduced ‘Civil Partnership’. That would have to do for us! We have since considered the difference of this legal union opposed to an actual marriage and to be frank, it is sufficient in our eyes that we are a couple in the eyes of the law. But this new found equality (that was long overdue) had other spin offs I guess. The law is no longer bigoted, so it is not (or should not be) frowned upon that ‘Two Blokes’, if they so wish, wanted to start a family. This is the outcome of equality isn’t it? And so we went on to achieve just that. I have previously brought up this subject in my diary, but it is a theme that is intrinsic to the ultimate outcome and why we are now a full and happy household of ten, if you include our two dogs and full time nanny. Who’d have thought that just a few years ago. Our neighbour in London, Karen thought that I hated children. This was probably brought on by the fact that she had two rug rats and I don’t remember ever really chatting ‘children’ with her. I smiled and said hello to her two little ones, but that was that. I guess she presumed we were annoyed with the constant buggy situation in the shared landing, but we never said anything. One year her brother couldn’t make it to hers to dress as Santa on Christmas Eve and walk down the road with a sack on his back whilst her then four and five year olds looked down from the balcony screaming ‘Santa, it’s Santa’. She asked me to step in and I reluctantly did so with just a little personal embarrassment. Very good training for my little elf story I guess. In hindsight it did make me smile, though even at that point, John and I had not discussed having our own children. That all happened a short while later after seeing a documentary called ‘Made in India’. I have mentioned this for sure, but I am just reiterating that a few small prompts set us out on our journey to fatherhood. We found a common ground and progressed forward as a couple. What we did and how we went about making things happen weren’t simple things, but we believed that ‘Our Journey’ was well worth the complexity and dare I say anxiety of it all. So here we have it! Just ‘Two Blokes’ and a household full of happiness (and quite a few screams).
A Gay Dad reflecting on life in the Shires of England with my not so famous five and two rapscallion Dalmatian hounds View all posts by diaryofagaydad.net