Go Straight To Jail

Do not pass go, do not collect £200. But did they earn a ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ card? Well, after a home made lunch of potato and watercress soup and freshly baked baguette, smothered with butter, we were not exactly starving. A trip upstairs made by myself and John out in the garden for fifteen minutes left the ‘Fruit Bowl’ unguarded. A shout upstairs from Amritsar asking for an apple for each of them was followed by a ‘Yes’ reply from myself. Ten minutes later I returned to Thor and Caleb munching down on two bananas. The floor, scattered with skins. I could make an ‘ooh ooh aah aah’ joke at this point, but I won’t! ‘You asked for apples’ I said. We only ate apples our three girls piped up. ‘And what about the boys’ I inquired. Both could not reply for mouths completely bloated with banana. I looked at the full fruit bowl, now slimmed down to just four ‘ripening’ pears – the apples and bananas were gone. ‘Who ate the bananas’ I inquired? ‘Thor and Caleb’ Tara replied (she’s very good like that). I won’t script the rest of the conversation, but the boys were told that for eating all five bananas between them (after their apples) and denying the girls of their bananas, the boys would have no dinner tonight! ‘But I’m hungry’ Thor piped up ‘I’m still hungry’ he concluded. I explained that there are always consequences in what we do and that just taking things was not allowed in our house.

However. Thor was adorable this afternoon and Caleb was less naughty than his average weekend day, so I think they earned their ‘get out of jail free’ card. Hence they enjoyed a smokey bacon spag-bol with trottole vert and a snowstorm of Parmesan cheese. All in bed now, but I’m still hearing the occasional scuttling of tiny feet on the bare wooden floors. Nite nite.

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A Gay Dad reflecting on life in the Shires of England with my not so famous five and two rapscallion Dalmatian hounds

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