Post ‘projectile vomiting’ on Sunday, the week began with calm before a realisation. Thor’s being sick was not just down to his extreme gorging, rather a stomach bug that had been introduced into the delicate eco system that is our family home. Monday passed by with no symptoms, however Tuesday morning was quite a different affair indeed! Thor woke me at 5am saying that his bed was wet. I checked and all seemed fine. But I turned to see the entrance to the girls room and noticed Tara debunked to the floor. Thor returned to his slumber and I headed in to see what was concerning Tara. ‘Kit Koala is wet’ she informed me and then she ushered my hand to feel the bedsheet. It was slightly damp, so I offed the sheet in an instant to reveal a myriad of books and nicknacks beneath her duvet. The duvet was dry as was her pillow. I set her up a bed on the fluffy carpet and inquired as to her stash of bed clutter. She had nothing to say in her defence. A few mutterings but basically all were comfortable, though I didn’t check Caleb as all was silent in the semi darkness of the boys room.

Sindy arrived in at 7am and ascended the stairs. Twenty five minutes later she returned to the kitchen clutching Tara’s bedsheet plus all of Caleb’s bedding. ‘You should have seen it’ she remarked, ‘like third world war’ she added, ‘His bed was completely pebble dashed’ she concluded.

Day one of lockdown had begun…

At the breakfast table everyone enjoyed their cornflakes though Tara and Caleb were slower eaters than normal. It was first Tara to look to the floor and empty her stomach. In very quick succession Caleb followed suit. Both Sindy and I jumped to action and calmed the two before cleaning up and disinfecting the said areas. The others looked on in astonishment. That’s a day home from school I told them ‘me too, me too Dadda’ Thor piped up! ‘I don’t think so’ I added. The healthy three all went off to school with Sindy and we at home settled in with Netflix. Within half an hour Caleb had vomited on himself twice and the large cushion they sit on besides the television, thrice. Happy Days.

Day Two. So far today, all is well with the two in quarantine, signifying a return to school tomorrow. I am at present sat on a train on my way up to London to see a dental specialist regarding my tooth ache. I am showing no signs of the contagion. All will be back to normal tomorrow I am sure. Oh I almost forgot to add that Sindy had them all declutter their beds yesterday afternoon, so all is well on that front too. Happy Days indeed.

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A Gay Dad reflecting on life in the Shires of England with my not so famous five and two rapscallion Dalmatian hounds

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