Yet more Personality Profiling

Our middle child is our son Thor. There was just him born back in 2014. Our four other children are two sets of twins. He was born in Bangkok, Thailand, though our egg donor on this occasion was Caucasian. And for the birth I thank our surrogate Ausa. Why the name Thor you might ask? Well, I had met a few very lovely Norwegian people along the way and as it happens, Tör is a fairly common name in Norway. I kind of liked the anglicised version of the name, super heroes aside, the name Thor suited him. As a baby, he was a massive presence. He was loud and screamy and impossible to settle at times, but yes again I looked to the help of a nanny named Ameena in Bangkok and she devoted herself to him and I for the five long months we had to wait for his British passport to be processed. When we finally came home, Ameena and her two sisters, wept as we left to board our plane. This was a time that our family was split in two. I missed John and the girls, Tara and Amritsar so much. John coped with them both in the U.K. with the help of our live in au pair and his sister, Sara. Did I say that I missed them all so much. But reunited we were. The girls were both two years old at this point. I remember the reaction I got when I went to pick them up from a preschool in West London that they had started to attend. They were unaware that I was finally home. ‘Dadda Dadda’ they both screamed so loudly when they saw me, Thor strapped to my chest in his baby sling. They clung onto us so tightly and we all got very tearful. But baby Thor was a loud baby and back then we lived in a apartment block. It was no good, we had to move to the Shires as the flat was small, the walls were thin and Thor was loud. So we left London and John became a commuter. I found it difficult to bond with Thor at first as he was so loud and screamy, none of us slept well through Thor’s baby years. Terrible twos merged into not quite so terrible threes. I think a lot of it was simply down to him wanting to communicate so much. He would look at someone, straight in the eyes and just start shouting and screaming at them. He did this thing with multiple pitches when it came to screaming. We had nanny help full time when we left London. We persevered and it paid off massively. At around two years old, he used to sit in his cot, repeating words, over and over again to himself. This was early in the morning before the girls were awake. I would stand at the bottom of the stairs and just listen for maybe ten minutes or so, just every now and then. The women at his new preschool all doted on him, even back then he was practicing his ‘charm initiative’ – he is a very unique little boy. Just being able to talk changed him so much. It was not just his step forward to communication, but from a very early age he started to form opinions and ask questions too. He talks a lot now, but there’s still the occasional moments when he finds that he has to shout, but he’s primarily gentle, caring and considerate. He won’t go to bed without his ‘Kiss and Hug’. Mind you, he can get quite moody if things don’t go his way, or there’s something he wants that he can’t have. He is a very loving little boy and often says things out of the blue like ‘I really like you Dadda’ and sometimes, just sometimes I get a ‘I love you Dadda’. The heart melts…

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A Gay Dad reflecting on life in the Shires of England with my not so famous five and two rapscallion Dalmatian hounds

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